Peeling the Onion

When "the farm" came into our sites we were not looking for it. We simply were asked to go and visit Toby's 5th grade teacher who is married to the retired middle school librarian while we were on the island at Christmas time. The first time we drove up to the farm we thought that for sure they only lived in the little house at the top of the property and kept the big garden. We were quite surprised when we learned that they also maintained a big field and a HUGE orchard. However, the more we talked with Phil (the 5th grade teacher) and Mary (the fabulous librarian) we found ourselves warming up to the idea of buying a farm; of becoming farmers.
I first realized we were on a steep learning curve when we were faced with Summer pruning. Even if you just snip one of two branches on each tree, there are 71 trees in the orchard, it adds up to lots of time. Pruning took three weeks. Then the berries started coming. Now, I am the first person to sit down with a pint of berries and a bit of chocolate and be perfectly happy, but after the tenth pint and the fifth batch of jam you just feel full. So we started selling our berries, and then the zucchini, and then the apples and plums. And of course, we couldn't just open a little road stand, we got official: business license, website, bank account, and business cards.

All of this "growing" of the farm felt right, and I was often reminded of my college roommate's book that was gifted to her by her mother: Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow. The more we invested into the farm the more I was loving what we were doing, until the most recent issue of Brain, Child arrived in the mail. Brain, Child is one of our favorite journals and we often bemoan the moment we finish reading the current issue because it is only published quarterly and both Toby and I tend to read it in the first week of its release. In this Fall issue I stumbled upon the feature "Eco-Housewives: Enlightened Caregiver, or Feminist Nightmare?". I resisted reading the article for a day, but eventually succumbed, plowed through it, and ended up calling Toby for backup when I finished.

The main subject in the article is Shannon Hayes, a mother, farmer, and writer, http://www.shannonhayes.info/. She has "unplugged" from what she claims if the consumerism expectations of parenthood and gone a different, "enlightened" path. "These women-and men, I might add-who are stepping back ad focusing on the home as an ecological movement are stepping out of the workplace treadmill that has them slaving for wages to buy crap," Hayes says. And I say Rock On sister!
But do you have to call me a housewife? What if I wasn't married? What if I was a lesbian? So yes, I happened to end up with a pretty pedestrian resume when it came to relationship building and "growing up", but feel pissed off getting called a housewife, eco or otherwise.

We all work. Not just for a paycheck, but for a better life. A better life that is more balanced than the sit-coms that someone watches on TV. A better life that allows us to just work on being the best person we can be for our children, our significant others, our families, our communities, for ourselves. I think the thing I dislike the most about being labeled is that I do not consider myself just one thing, I am a moving target that can't be nailed by just one bullet. So now, I would like to end this entry telling you who I am, but that would just be a label.